What is lament?

LAMENT

What is it? How do we define lament?

A pastor and author from Indiana, Mark Vroegop, wrote a book on the subject. He defines lament as, “A prayer in pain that leads to trust… It’s talking to God…in pain. That’s what creates the need to mourn and reflect…or to specifically complain…that leads, so lament is designed to lead you somewhere. It’s not a cul-de-sac of sorrow, it’s meant to move you along. And then trust. That’s where lament is meant to lead. To a point of a reaffirmation of trust… It’s a theological commitment to acknowledge the world is broken, this is really hard, but God is 100% good, I just can’t see how right now.”

We recognize that lament is all over the Bible. Specifically, there are about 67 lament psalms—roughly 44 percent of all the content of the psalms is given over to psalms of lament, of suffering and sorrow.

It’s a normal human activity. Yet we don’t really talk much about it.

When we lean into lament we are going to follow three different steps—look back, be present, move forward.

This post will focus on the LOOK BACK

Looking back is essential because that is why we lament. We are lamenting what is because of what no longer is.

Right now we lament the unexpected. We lament the suddenness of the loss we have. We, all of a sudden, can’t even go back to clear out our locker or say goodbye to our teacher. We can no longer, all of a sudden, get caught passing notes in class.

Our schedules and routines have been upended. Sleep cycles have been messed up. Workout routines and running plans have been canceled because gyms are closed and races are canceled.

Practices for whatever sport we were going to play aren’t happening, and all of a sudden the activity we were looking forward to is no longer an option, at least to participate in with our friends and teammates.

We look back. As we lament, take the time to remember. Remember what was.

Remember the beauty, the struggle, the victory, the failure, the times shared together, the times apart when you missed someone. Remember the close games, the big wins, the losses, and the lessons you learned along the way. Remember the times at the lunch table or on the bus to or from school. Remember the sights and sounds and smells. We lament because of what is missed and what has been lost.

As you remember, write them down. You’ll look back one day, as you remember how you remembered, and be glad you did.

Don’t just write down the activities that you’ll miss, but the people and the experiences. Write down the good and the bad. Write down the joy that has come out of quarantine—the slow-down, the family time, the rest—and the heartache—missing friends, family members, classmates, sports, etc.

Look back and count the blessings you’ve had, where you’ve seen God at work, His grace and faithfulness to His promises. When you live with a thankful heart, it changes the perspective you have on lament.

Looking back isn’t the only piece to the lament puzzle. We also have to be present. More on that next time.